Hurdle 6 – FAB

FAB stands for Fading Effect Bias. It is universal, which means that it is exhibited by all human beings, regardless of country, culture, language or religion. It is a psychological tendency that, as time passes, we tend to view past events more positively. In other words, the negative aspects associated with past events fade more than the positive aspects.

Usually FAB is considered to be a good thing, as it allows people to maintain a more positive outlook on their lives. It is the very embodiment of ‘nostalgia’.

Where it can be very damaging is when quitting drinking (or indeed any other drugs). Over time the lethargy, the misery, the waking up feeling more tired than when you went to bed, the general depressed state, and all the other negatives of being a drinker slowly fade. And let’s remember that these negative effects actually make up 95% of the reality of being a drinker.  We start to remember only the good, those first few drinks at a social occasions or whatever.

This is a moment of danger. The solution? It’s very simple really. Know about it, expect it, and recognise it when it comes. Don’t get sucked into lazy thinking; remember, the mind is a good servant but a poor master. Keep it in rein.

When these thoughts start to enter your mind, see them for what they are; a nonsense created by the passage of time.

Always keep in mind the reality; waking up at 4am exhausted and riddled with anxiety. Getting out of bed every morning more tired and depressed than you went to bed, having to drag yourself through the day. Losing that feeling of joy and lightness and freedom. Play the story to the end.

Think about a typical night drinking. You may well ‘enjoy’ those first couple of drinks. Why do I put the word ‘enjoy’ in inverted commas? Because for me I began to realise that the ‘enjoyment’ was no more than correcting a chemical imbalance that had been caused by the previous drinks, or (if I hadn’t drunk for  a few days prior) removing a craving that had (again) been caused by alcohol in the first place. There was no true pleasure or enjoyment, just removing an unpleasant feeling (be that physical or psychological). To understand more about cravings and the physical withdrawal, see hurdles 1 and 2 which I have posted about previously.

After that initial ‘buzz’, which would last for maybe 15 minutes or so, things would just die down. I’d just feel sedated, dulled, not much of anything really. Some people say that drinking is borrowing happiness from tomorrow. This suggests that although you suffer the next day, you get double the happiness that evening. I started to realise that this was rubbish. A 15 minute improvement in feeling, that was no genuine improvement anyway if you looked at the bigger picture, was what it amounted to.

After this there would be the ruined sleep, the increase in anxiety, the elevated heart rate and blood pressure as my brain realised adrenaline and cortisol (a stress hormone) to counter the sedating effects of the alochol. I’d get up the next morning feeling lethargic and anxious and exhausted, and that feeling would follow me around the whole day.

A 15 minute false ‘buzz’ followed by 23 hours and 45 minutes of either dullness or actively feeling awful. This is the reality of drinking.

But when we stop drinking, when the months and years have passed, what do we think about when we think about drinking? Do we remember the 23 hours and 45 minutes, or the 15? Do we remember the misery that made up the vast majority of being a drinker, or that minuscule percentage that we ‘enjoyed’?

It’s the tiny percent we remember, those first drinks that we believed felt so good.

Just keep this in mind as you clock up more and more sober time. See it for what it is. Keep control of your mind, don’t let it wander off in it’s own direction.