Cravings can hit at any time, from the moment you finish your first drink, to your 50th year of sobriety. But what are cravings and how do you combat them?
Cravings are a purely conscious thought process by which you fantasise and obsess about having a drink. When the thought of having a drink enters your mind (which is absolutely will, let’s be realistic about this), if you start to think about how good it would taste, how mellow it would make you feel, how lucky everyone else is standing around drinking and laughing, and how maybe you could have just one on this one occasion, you will be craving.
It’s not only an unpleasant thought spiral to be trapped in, but it distracts you from anything else that is going on. If you are out with friends, you won’t be enjoying their company, conversation and jokes, because your attention will be taken up with this unpleasant internal conflict. If you are at home after a tough day at work, you won’t be able to relax and enjoy your evening. This makes the drink indispensable because it means that it becomes the difference between enjoying life and just suffering it.
Cravings have a broad spectrum of intensity. They can range from severe (when you are in an agony of wanting to drink so badly, yet being so determined to stop, that you feel like you’re being torn in two) to moderate when it is almost like a mild distraction (where you just feel that something is missing, like life isn’t quite the same, or that an event or occasion is missing something).
So what do you do about them?
When I was drinking, one of the things I hated the most about my drinking life was waking up in the middle of the night and being unable to sleep (which is what happens about 5 hours after your last drink for reasons covered in the previous post), getting up when the alarm went off feeling more drained and exhausted then when I went to bed instead of feeling refreshed and positive and keen to start the day.
Whenever the thought of having a drink entered my head, I would think of the 4 am wake up, the feeling of exhaustion when I had to get up and face the day, the ramped up anxiety and the elevated heart rate. I would think about that, and I would think about what would happen if I didn’t drink; how I would wake up feeling energetic, well rested, confident and positive. Over time I retrained my conscious reaction to alcohol; gone was the image of the happy, laughing drinkers, instead was the thought of that horrible, exhausted, heavy feeling when you get in in the morning having suffered a night of alcohol induced unconsciousness, as opposed to having enjoyed a period of healthy, restorative sleep.
Knowledge and understanding helped me reframe my perception of alcohol. In short, I stopped seeing it as fun and enjoyable and started seeing it as an unpleasant scourge that I was only too glad to see the back of. When the thought of alcohol enters my mind I no longer fantasise about how wonderful it is and how much better my life would be if I only I could have a drink, and I certainly never torture myself with the thought that ‘maybe I could have one on just this one occasion’.
10 responses
I go from periods of sobriety to moderation. Now I drink a lot less than I used to. This makes sobriety harder because I think I can drink without any harm. But I know that even a couple of drinks robs me of my vitality and next morning depresses my mood. My aim is total sobriety. It is posts like yours that will help me to finally achieve this stage where alcohol is no longer a part of my life
Great reasoning, I do the same, so much to be gained free from booze, good luck everyone.
My goodness, the 2-3am wake-up accompanied with anxiety, fast heart rate, skipped heart beats and insomnia are woeful… what an outrageous price to pay for the deception of pleasure and peace the demon alcohol promises
Totally agree. The few hours of so called fun followed by anxiety are just not worth it. Temporary “fun” in exchange for real physical discomfort and psychological fragility. No thanks.
I am now three years sober thanks to your book and videos. I miss absolutely nothing about alcohol. I do still sometimes remember how I’d drink in social gatherings to feel better when in a boring place. Now I just try to avoid situations that trigger that thought. I see certain people less. I now realize I drank out of boredom or discomfort. I am sometimes called “boring” as a joke (crappy joke) and I’m glad I am now a “boring” person, knowing fully that I am quite the opposite. I am free. So grateful.
Thank you – your books and blogs are helping me move forward to sobriety. I know I can be a glass 1/2 full gal.
Thank you William for keeping this alive and for sharing. It’s weird how it can just hit seemingly out of nowhere…but usually triggered by memories, or events. Your shared insight into this topic has helped so many people. God bless you and your family.
Thank you William – first sober Christmas coming up and so this is great timing for nd to read 👍
Sometimes I question myself which is worse, the whole night/few hours of a craving or the morning after if I give into the craving. The mind is too busy
I appreciate this thoughtful insight. It gives me a deeper understanding of what my alcoholic son is going through and methods he can use to help in the overcoming process.